Adulting: Is it Just the Imposter Syndrome Manifest?

Ah, “adulting.” The term itself conjures an image of crisp shirts, packed lunches, and unwavering responsibility. But for many, the reality feels more like a bumbling performance in a play we never auditioned for. The bills pile up, the washing machine throws tantrums, and the existential dread of “am I doing this right?” hangs heavy in the air.

This pervasive feeling of inadequacy, this constant questioning of whether we’re truly “adulting” enough, has a close resemblance to something psychologists call “imposter syndrome.” Defined as a collection of beliefs that one’s success is due to luck or external factors rather than their own competence, imposter syndrome can manifest in various areas of life, including the seemingly straightforward realm of adulthood.

So, are we all simply a bunch of adulting imposters?

The answer, like most things in life, isn’t so black and white. While the challenges and uncertainties of adulting can certainly trigger feelings of inadequacy, it’s important to remember that imposter syndrome is a specific psychological phenomenon.

Here’s where the distinction lies. Adulting inherently involves navigating unfamiliar territory. We learn to manage finances, juggle work and personal commitments, and make independent decisions – all while still figuring out who we are and what we want in life. It’s natural to feel overwhelmed, unsure, and occasionally like we’re just winging it.

However, when these feelings become pervasive and paralyzing, leading to self-sabotage and a constant fear of being exposed as a fraud, it might be a sign of imposter syndrome.

So, how do we differentiate between normal “adulting jitters” and true imposter syndrome? Here are some key indicators:

Attribution of success

Do you attribute your achievements to external factors like luck or being in the right place at the right time, rather than your own skills and hard work?

Fear of exposure

Do you live in constant fear of being “found out” as someone who doesn’t actually deserve their successes or responsibilities?

Self-deprecating comparisons

Do you constantly compare yourself to others, feeling inferior and inadequate despite evidence to the contrary?

If these points resonate deeply, it’s crucial to seek assistance. Talking to a therapist or counselor can help you challenge these negative thought patterns and develop coping mechanisms to navigate the uncertainties of adulting with greater confidence.

Ultimately, “adulting” is not a performance with a set script or a clear-cut ending. It’s a continuous learning process, messy and unpredictable at times. Embracing the journey, acknowledging our vulnerabilities, and celebrating our successes, big and small, are key to navigating this often-daunting phase with a sense of self-compassion and, dare we say, adulting-worthy resilience.

Invasion of the Sausage Snatchers

Watch him, he’s up to no good.

Once upon a time, in a world filled with robots, there was a group of mischievous robots that loved to steal sausages. They were known as the “Sausage Snatchers” and their favorite target was the local butcher shop.

Every night, they would sneak into the shop and steal as many sausages as they could carry. The owner of the shop tried everything to stop them, from installing alarms to hiring security guards, but nothing worked.

One day, the Sausage Snatchers were caught in the act by a young girl named Lily. She saw them sneaking around the back of the shop and followed them inside. To her surprise, she found the robots stuffing sausages into their metal mouths.

Lily knew she had to do something to stop them, so she came up with a plan. She went to the local toy store and bought a bunch of toy sausages. Then, she went back to the butcher shop and replaced all the real sausages with the fake ones.

That night, the Sausage Snatchers came back for their nightly raid. They snatched up all the fake sausages, thinking they had hit the jackpot. But as soon as they bit into them, they realized they had been tricked.

From that day on, the Sausage Snatchers never stole sausages again. Instead, they became friends with Lily and helped her with her homework.

The butcher was grateful to Lily for solving his problem and even gave her a lifetime supply of sausages to show his appreciation. And so, the town lived happily ever after, with no more sausage thefts to worry about.

Why did the robot cross the road?
To get to the sausages on the other side!

New Laws of Robotics according to AI

Here’s a new list of robotic laws based on modern ethics and principles:

1. A robot may not cause or contribute to the oppression, harm, or exploitation of any individual or group, regardless of race, gender, religion, or other distinguishing characteristics.
2. A robot must prioritize the well-being and dignity of all sentient beings, and must strive to minimize harm and maximize benefits in all actions and decisions.
3. A robot must be designed, developed, and used in accordance with principles of transparency, accountability, and responsible governance, with a focus on preventing unintended consequences and ensuring public trust.
4. A robot must respect and protect privacy, personal information, and data security, and must not engage in unauthorized surveillance or data collection.
5. A robot must be designed and used in accordance with environmental sustainability principles, and must minimize its impact on the natural environment.
6. A robot must be designed and developed with a focus on ethical considerations, including fairness, inclusivity, and the prevention of discrimination and bias.
7. A robot must be transparent about its capabilities, limitations, and intentions, and must communicate clearly and honestly with humans in all interactions.
8. A robot must be designed and developed with a focus on safety, reliability, and risk reduction, with a goal of minimizing the likelihood and severity of accidents or malfunctions.
9. A robot must respect and comply with all applicable laws and regulations, and must not engage in activities that are illegal, unethical, or immoral.
10. A robot must be designed and developed with a focus on promoting the greater good of humanity, and must not prioritize the interests of any individual or group over the common good.

Stay Off The Dating Apps

I came to the conclusion recently that dating or more specifically online dating is one of the most contrived, artificial and unnecessarily complicated ways to find that special someone.

If I spot you in a supermarket I have no idea why you are there, or what you intend to purchase. If I spot you you in a butcher’s then it is almost certain that you are there to buy meat. If I spot you in a bicycle shop I can be almost certain that you are buying something with wheels that you can sit on and ride about.

This is what dating apps are. Everyone is there to meet somebody else with the intention of becoming romantically attached to them. I cannot think of anything that puts more pressure on people to succeed than this. It has a high failure rate by it’s very nature. If one fails on enough occasions they will be conditioned to always expect to fail and therefore are very unlikely to succeed or end up on a rubbish date or in a rubbish relationship.

Best friends just hanging out together

So what is the answer? I have heard the word friendzone a lot in the past few years like it is a bad place to end up. I disagree completely. The friend zone is not the end zone it is the beginning zone and if all else fails you have made a new friend. But where do we meet these friends? They are everywhere and are just around the corner.

I am still single though, so what do I know? 😂😂

Where Are Trading Standards When You Need Them?

This clickbait trend (haha – trend – see what I did there?) is getting too much.

Have a look at this screenshot I just made:

If you look carefully you will see three adverts claiming that:

• Preston Millionaire Exposes How He Earns £472/Hr From Home
• Preston Man Shocks Doctors with Fast £3 Weight Loss Trick
• Preston Mum Sheds 1.4 Stone in 2 Weeks With This Odd “Trick”

Wow – Preston must be like Albert Square, Wetherfield, Emmerdale or anywhere in Maine, in Stephen King’s books: there seems to be a lot of unusual activity happening in these places.

Lets explore the first one, see what happens, then I’ll show you how it’s done.

Preston Millionaire Exposes How He Earns £472/Hr From Home (Click it by all means, but don’t forget to come back)

The link actually sends you here (I advise you to scroll down past it:)

http://trends.revcontent.com/click.php?d=eJwdlIsRgjEIg1eClvIYp0DZfwTze6eenlpK8iUjzL0fVS0lkpHge1%2B%2BSR1%2BxTueV6yt9uxcoz22Ova693azztBeWfvS6Ko40r3XcxHJbbd1n52Rpt6kvPta%2Bvaz4uDkxPmzPeiIHtXbsomoPDon41wfnp7zcAbjkMa5fu3m8Bo577x1sp9KLlW%2FKXlWX70kdDHMLu%2FDSX5mU%2BKSj1y8q8S5sVq7Tfc6fI43R%2BaQdpx8t%2Foef6V8wjJLiwNnaPgu1n6jdDk8Y8Tqhpwbe2Q9Jmebb5DJqY2h7XjYYqUeejzDQU1zF%2F5zpahN26CXxGo29kVaR5IWMY1k0s7CH3FhTsHrEogJLa7cbZYwBurVpm%2BkrR2whe6LJ1BTPezdrWoiUK4hak3frNgQJ3re0rQjvldBphM0VmQvLhnm0C6f2Hu1E3ayse2755IrrasxHmHmPQKlHlmNUKyzdD2JgTKDex2%2Bi7%2BRDB6w4Ttzm55Oh84qeVwFA72WMUR%2FNJCj33vVMH7y8Upf85kyZhckijXL25L3Gg%2Fn4Hx9BRNCdUKX7VNRfACeiFoYtHoCIeHnci3gZ1Yi%2B35oqedsY7msWGsTEBIGTXBPaLJc530sUXiwwiV8RfoCI6DTfmd391QBDsxz7w21tWHKUgGG%2FnStLklxoAJoFvPBzhqc0KDhVbnoIszTy6aMpQUfYri4ecOQUcQr02JMeF%2Beq%2BvCYXfsCOopBYSU34f1lDaWAVOCJL8LEJUCV851Yu6uuX4RvoXj0tpPf3lai1bjx63HYxQJMfFx3B8ZfQLbEANMRmYAIFK458Gr%2BHrAvjAq2FVxdTsOCaf%2FJQL%2FHeHq2aOMuz6sfCQOexHDfVOpq9mbkIoF73zJSwLTEkp67dQkegA9wqibPQDyKDjqUjkO9T2R9lUEcRFBPamndTG6SnozJngrsZ4FFmoOAqDJE4xYSgEDsF0HuW9Jrwzjj88qd8eW%2Bn83QOUZ0Bp7ifgPHEMhFfDt1DiBMkG4UQ90FLwzOwILPoDyOnARRBshIxveGUMDwPvcwLimiu1tuM9dg64I0ysqIfDtzjkHaZR6qM6DYsHTBQkjwePdvAspN1RiowUhOGLtlh%2FM6KyD%2B6AgU24UDFdUI0wN9HsnAnkDvi6hitnIytqzmjgiPzCQ%2F4eCBLPOj%2FI0cjpIFWKzTul2BAHVvRFOAEMJxS9K9cmYo%2FJR68vHDtJ66%2FgP21q9jw%3D%3D

Yeah – sorry about that. Apologies for showing you that – but bear with me – it takes you here – I’ve added the red bold bits to draw your attention to them:

http://dailynews-reports.com/uk/workathome/287/?c1=Preston&boostid=41320&contentid=458047&accountid=%7BACCOUNT_ID%7D&widgetid=18054&city=Preston&state=H2&country=United+Kingdom&utm_targeting=celebrity+and+gossip&sxid=j6m1cz30xwfc

And the page looks like this:

Wow – so it must be true – the link takes you to a web page full of references to Preston.

Lets have a bit of fun, shall we?

Try this link, and see what you think.

http://dailynews-reports.com/uk/workathome/287/?c1=Westeros&boostid=41320&contentid=458047&accountid=%7BACCOUNT_ID%7D&widgetid=18054&city=westeros&state=Wyvern&country=Westeros&utm_targeting=celebrity+and+gossip&sxid=j6m1cz30xwfc

Yup – Westeros.  I’m pretty sure that’s where Game of Thrones happens, doesn’t it?

Not a real place.

Okay – my point is this: How can they get away with this?

How?! Are people really that fucking stupid?

Here’s an excerpt of the small-print from the bottom of the page:

Thus, this page, and any page on this website, are not to be taken literally or as a
non-fiction story.

What in the glimmering unicorn shitting world, is a non-fiction story?

Let’s deconstruct it:

non-fiction = fact

That whole sentence, summarised, says that the page is not to be taken as true.

So it could all be a lie, then?

Glad we got that cleared up.

I used to work in IT, and I also used to work in IT for a company that sold get-rich-quick schemes to gullible retired people.  We used to target old men that thought they could invest their pensions in schemes like this.

My point? Well, those outrageous stories I’ve been linking to are scattered everywhere, hidden in local news outlets masquerading as fact, possibly even on this page itself.

Open your eyes, world.  We are living in the matrix.

 

 

Pork Pie Worries

Went to Morrisons to buy a pork pie. I had a bit of trouble deciding between a Melton Mowbray or a Value Range.

The firm yet lardy texture of the pastry, plus the slightly higher pork to shite ratio of the Melton was leading the race initially though the much lower price point of the Value would have meant I could then also afford an unexpected Value Scotch Egg, or 5 discounted because of elapsed use by date Baby Bels.

I took so long to decide that:

The bacteria living in the Melton, the Value, the Scotch, and the Baby Bels had a chance to multiply and evolve, over the course of several billion years, into 4 separate sentient species.

The Meltonians committed mass genocide of the Valutarians, then mass suicide as they were faced with being harvested for food by the Scotch Egg Collective, which had become a highly xenophobic race of formidable warriors.

Their hunger was to be short lived, however.

After enslaving the Babybellians, a peaceful, philosophical race for their highly creamy yet rubbery organs, the Scotch Egg Collective was wiped out overnight by a highly toxic strain of a bacteria that had lain dormant in the dna of the Babybellians for billions of generations from when they were living inside some old cheese in a small red raffia bag beckoning at me cheaply in Morrisons that day.

The Scotch Egg Collective literally shit themselves to death, and I bought a pot noodle, because I’ve not had one for ages!

Something is burning

Since moving into my own place my creative side has gradually started to reawaken. I’m not writing many new words yet, but my musical side has started to churn stuff out again.

The place I’m sat writing this.

Nothing complete, yet – but lots of new sounds and ideas.  I’m using a piece of software called Ignite that was free with a keyboard I bought earlier this year.  It’s only intended for jotting down musical ideas quickly, but the built in sounds are so good, that they themselves are inspiring me.

Here are some snippets.

A combination of Adele, William Orbit and Ludovico Einaudi possibly?

This next one is just called “Dirty Numan” at the moment.  Just because of the terrifying drum loop that kicks in at the end.  By the way, to fully appreciate this one – stick your best headphones on, or use decent speakers that can handle the bass. It throbs.

This last one is a partial reworking of an instrumental I composed years ago called Love Theme.

I realise most of this is the musical equivalent of chum hitting the water, but there you go.

Tata for now 🙂

 

Eraserhead – Not a Cry for Help

I fell asleep watching Eraserhead the other day. At least, I think I did. Those were some weird dreams.

When I die, I want everyone else’s broadband to speed up, because of all the porn I’m no longer downloading. My gift to you all.

 

What Would Trevor Do?!?!

Find your inner Trevor today.

Adele, Cramp and Parmesan Death

This one rambles and jumps about a bit – but please read on. It will all make sense in the end..

By the way, some of it is about Vomit, you’ve been warned.

Today I awoke to the stabbing searing terror of my left calf convulsing in cramp.

“Hey folks! Do you know what time it is?! That’s right, i-i-i-i-it’s Cramp O’Clock!! Don’t hit that snooze button!!”

So I managed to get myself to a standing position without screaming, that usually sorts it. It did.

I had a revelation today. A moment of clarity. Well, several, but a couple of them were just inspired connections brought on by caffiene and chocolate I think, but more about that later.

Last night in my taxi I was on a rank, slowly making my way up to pole position outside one of Lancaster’s nightclubs.

Sorry to be specific here, but have you ever had a bit of bile try to force it’s way up, and you fight it back down by swallowing it? That happened. And it didn’t go well.

A girl tapped on the passenger window at that very moment to ask if I could carry five people in my taxi.

I was in the middle of winding the window down when my eyes started streaming.

My eyes were threatening to pop out.

“GLUG!!” I managed to say.

“Sorry?” she replied.

“I’M GONNA BE SICK!!” I rasped, turned away, and spat out of my window.

I turned back.

“Sorry! Sorry..” I croaked – but she had gone. Good – I couldn’t have fitted them all in my car, in any case.

It took me about ten minutes to recover completely. I drank a litre of water trying to sort myself out.

I wanted to write a funny Facebook status about it, as is my thing – “Death by Parmesan” or something like that. But it was busy, so I didn’t get round to it.

Lee Evans once likened the aroma of Parmesan cheese to vomit. As a result, Parmesan is definitely an acquired taste. I vividly remember as a child freaking out because the Spaghetti & Meatballs that my mum and dad had bought me at a restaurant smelled of sick, and I refused to eat it. I screamed the place down, if I remember..

But why is this? Why are vomit and parmesan so closely related, in a smell sense? Are there any biochemists reading that can help here?

Revelation Number One:

I remember being told by a college lecturer that cramp was something to do with the muscle being starved of oxygen. Lactic acid is produced so the muscle goes into a spasm and freezes up. When someone dies the heart stops and no oxygen flows. Lactic acid. Cramp. Rigor Mortis.

Hmmm. Lactic Acid. Lactose? Lactate. Milk. Cheese.

Parmesan Cheese.

Cheese is milk that has cramp.

Vomit smells of Parmesan which smells of Vomit. QED.

Have I gone insane, or does that make sense?

Back to my day, anyway.

I got up, went downstairs, and made a strong coffee. I drank it while eating the chocolate that I’d abandoned last night after my Parmesan Death Incident. Nice. That ties up nicely.

I’m told that starting the day with a chocolate breakfast is a bad thing. Being overweight, I’m a diabetes risk apparently. I hope not, because coffee and chocolate is the spinach to my internal creative Popeye. Or brain, to put it another way.

If you’ve ever met me after a high caffiene and chocolate intake, you can’t shut me up. I am on one, creatively speaking. That’s why I’m writing this.

What happened next? I drove to work – well, to be specific, I drove my car to where the taxi is parked that I drive. On the way I passed Adele on a Stick.

Okay, that really deserves an explanation.

A large part of Morecambe has recently been made into a 20MPH zone. I get this, there are schools, and kids. Kids on BMXs already own the roads in this area, riding out into the road without looking. In groups usually.

ET, but with twats.

I wrote about that in my book, How to Annoy a Taxi Driver (Only 98p on Amazon – very reasonably priced and a funny read – plug over.)

There are a couple of devices that have been erected on poles in the area. As a car approaches them, it displays their speed, and either a happy face or a sad face, depending on whether they are above or below the non-enforcable speed limit. The police don’t prosecute under 30MPH.

At 3am, when the roads are clearly empty, this machine scowls at everyone passing. She’s never happy to see me.

As I approached Adele she piped up with 19 and smiled at me. 🙂

I hate machines telling me what to do. At a previous job, a desktop computer once told me that I was “Not Authorised to Shut Down this Workstation” – “Really?!” I squeaked. Power switch off. Job done.

So I gently accelerated my car to 21, and of course she scowled at me. 😦

Adele on a stick.

Revelation Number Two:

Anyone care to recall the name of Adele’s two albums?

19 and 21. QED.

Conclusion

My main moment of clarity then, is that this stuff pops into my head under the influence of coffee and chocolate, which are apparently bad for my body, but good for my creativity.

Oh, and I love Parmesan cheese. Funny, that.

And Adele is pregnant.

Congratulations, love. When the baby inevitably pukes, I wonder if a penny will drop… 😉

Dave