What Am I?

What am I to you, or who,
Am i supposed to be?
When you ask me if I'm working, 
Are you asking if I'm free?

Are you asking for my company,
Or for what i can do for you,
In a professional capacity?
I just don't know what to do.

A Willy By Any Other Name

In youthful whimsy, I once had a plan,
To christen my own private, nameless man.
“Dick,” it would be, a name so discreet,
A secret whispered, never complete.

But fate, it seems, had other designs,
No grand pronouncement, no clever declines.
The years rolled onward, a memory faint,
Leaving only a blank, a forgotten paint.

Then came the moment, awkward and strange,
A need for a name, to shift and arrange.
“Mr. Thingumibob,” I stammered and blushed,
A silly moniker, my folly uncrushed.

So let this serve as a lesson, my friend,
Nicknames are fickle, they come to an end.
Embrace what it is, no need for charades,
Just accept its existence, unafraid.

“Come along now, Mr Thingumibob”

Lesson learned.

Ten Haikus About Cheerfulness

A lightness of heart,
A world of endless wonder,
Joy in every breath.

A soul that's at peace,
A mind that's free from worry,
Contentment within.

A heart that's open,
Filled with love and gratitude,
Blessed in every way.

A life full of hope,
A future that's bright and clear,
Dreams that can come true.

A heart that's joyful,
Filled with laughter and with love,
A life that's well-lived.

A mind that's at ease,
Free from stress and anxiety,
Calmness all around.

A spirit that soars,
Unfettered by doubt or fear,
A life without bounds.

A heart that's grateful,
For all the blessings in life,
Thankful every day.

A soul that's fulfilled,
Living a life of purpose,
Making a difference.

A world full of light,
A life that's full of promise,
A future that's bright.

Ten Haikus About Depression

Heavy heart sinking,
Shrouded in a veil of grey,
No light in my soul.

Emptiness inside,
A void that cannot be filled,
Alone in the dark.

Storm clouds overhead,
Raindrops fall like tears of pain,
A world without hope.

A weight upon me,
Dragging me down to despair,
No escape in sight.

Lost in a dark maze,
No way out, no guiding light,
Trapped in my own mind.

A bottomless pit,
Suffocating in the void,
A life without joy.

A prisoner of thought,
Trapped in my own mind's prison,
Freedom out of reach.

Numbness in my soul,
All emotions washed away,
Nothing left to feel

A deep, endless ache,
A pain that never subsides,
A life in shadow.

A heavy burden,
Crushing me beneath its weight,
A life without light.

Hot Dogs are The Best

Verse 1:
I wake up in the morning, feeling kinda hungry
I know just what I want, it's always been so yummy
No need for fancy meals, or anything too fussy
Just a simple hot dog, it always does the job for me

Chorus:
Hot dogs, hot dogs, they're my favourite food
I can eat them any time, I'm always in the mood
With ketchup or with mustard, or maybe even both
Hot dogs, hot dogs, they're the ones I love the most

Verse 2:
At the ball game or the fair, they're always on the menu
With all the toppings piled high, they're never too few
A quick snack on the go, or a meal to share with friends
Hot dogs are always there, until the very end

Chorus:
Hot dogs, hot dogs, they're my favourite food
I can eat them any time, I'm always in the mood
With ketchup or with mustard, or maybe even both
Hot dogs, hot dogs, they're the ones I love the most

Bridge:
Some say they're not healthy, but I don't really care
I'll eat them every day, I'll never have a scare
I love the taste so much, it's hard to put in words
Hot dogs are my passion, they're my love, my world

Chorus:
Hot dogs, hot dogs, they're my favourite food
I can eat them any time, I'm always in the mood
With ketchup or with mustard, or maybe even both
Hot dogs, hot dogs, they're the ones I love the most

Outro:
So if you're ever feeling down, or you need a pick-me-up
Just grab a hot dog, it's always worth the fuss
They'll make your day so much better, they will improve your mood
Hot dogs, hot dogs, they're the ones that always rule.

I think I’m back?

Well it has certainly been a few years, hasn’t it?

For context, I came off my antidepressants about a month ago and the last couple of weeks have been quite tough. Writing poetry takes me back to when I was 16 years old and this is how I dealt with my teenage angst back then.

I’ll make no apologies for the freeform nature of some of my poems. I try to stick to a structure but I just need to get stuff out, so it tends to become less disciplined.

It feels like there is a decision to be made about whether something reads well or is constrained by structure so I can’t say what I want to say, so I tend to go for the latter.

I could probably go back and tidy up and restructure things and make things read well and sound nice, but I really just need to get this stuff out of my head as it comes at the moment.

So this is part blog, part poetry, part coming off my meds journal.

Grieving? Or Just Feeling?

I sang a song
And set it off
I thought of mum
While singing "Oh Father"

Am I broken?
Am I fixed?
I can't say 
My mask falls

The mask has gone
Give me a moment 

I'll let the tears flow
I just don't know
Why they come
And will they stop?

I think of my mum
Such wasted years
Unable to grieve
Now I hope I can stop

But it feels good
To feel again

I wouldn't mind 
Some good feelings
To look forward to
Thank you very much

I've got back my black
But no colours yet

Does there need to be a focus
For the tears and the rage?
This is still better
Than feeling nothing at all

How and When

Eyes pricking
But can clearly see
What I've done to myself
So now I'm free
To wonder how and even when
I'll ever be that happy again

You Didn’t

You could have flashed me out.

It would have only taken a couple of twitches of your fingertips

You could even have indicated as you were turning into my junction
So I would have known what you were doing

But you didn't, did you?

No, you just slowed down and turned into the junction without letting me know
Making me wait for no reason but your selfishness

But it gave me time to reflect
Upon how selfish drivers are these days

Cat Shit Floats

Cat shit floats
In my toilet

So I piss on it
And it goes away