How and When

Eyes pricking
But can clearly see
What I've done to myself
So now I'm free
To wonder how and even when
I'll ever be that happy again

Stay Off The Dating Apps

I came to the conclusion recently that dating or more specifically online dating is one of the most contrived, artificial and unnecessarily complicated ways to find that special someone.

If I spot you in a supermarket I have no idea why you are there, or what you intend to purchase. If I spot you you in a butcher’s then it is almost certain that you are there to buy meat. If I spot you in a bicycle shop I can be almost certain that you are buying something with wheels that you can sit on and ride about.

This is what dating apps are. Everyone is there to meet somebody else with the intention of becoming romantically attached to them. I cannot think of anything that puts more pressure on people to succeed than this. It has a high failure rate by it’s very nature. If one fails on enough occasions they will be conditioned to always expect to fail and therefore are very unlikely to succeed or end up on a rubbish date or in a rubbish relationship.

Best friends just hanging out together

So what is the answer? I have heard the word friendzone a lot in the past few years like it is a bad place to end up. I disagree completely. The friend zone is not the end zone it is the beginning zone and if all else fails you have made a new friend. But where do we meet these friends? They are everywhere and are just around the corner.

I am still single though, so what do I know? 😂😂

2020 Cannot End Soon Enough.

Well, hello folks. I expect you all thought you’d heard the last of me! Sordid details following:

I’ve been keeping to myself since the first lockdown.

Being isolated for 6 weeks in the first lockdown made me really miss human contact (my job is the only way I get any, and the brief company of strangers is better than nothing, but still infinitely better.)

I deleted every dating app, and managed to last for a few months.

Eventually Facebook Dating appeared and I joined that, with little success.

I joined TikTok in November and I’ve been trying to use that to connect with people though its completely pointless, but a lot of fun.

I managed to go viral with one video, but, embarrassingly, its me pretending to knock one out to the tune Everyday by Buddy Holly. Nothing inspirational or cute.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZS7URW4Q/

I rejoined Tinder recently, and a chat I had this evening has reminded me why I gave up, and why I’m here now.

I unmatched her before I screenshotted the chat, so I’ll have to give you the gist here.

She asked me how I was coping with the COVID pandemic, and I answered honestly (its all terrible) and after a few messages I happened to say “Waking each day is a bonus, lucky I’m a glass half full kind of guy” which I must admit was me being a bit ironic/sarcastic (always a mistake in written form) but she chose to reply, “Well you don’t sound very optimistic” which I saw as “Red Flag #1 🚩”

Then, before things turned horrible she noted that my “Job” was Music Producer and Author, not Taxi Driver, as our earlier conversation had revealed.

I replied that whom we identify as is more relevant than how we make a living. She said she wouldn’t have swiped right had she known I was a taxi driver, as she was sick of being the breadwinner in past relationships “Red Flag #2 🚩”

So yeah, that was fun. Have you missed me? 🤣🤣🤣