In the news recently…
Robert Spring, 76, a retired sperm-counter from Harrogate, was reported to be “comfortable” last week after buying a new armchair.
Pubic health officials in Penge are said to be “suspicious”, mainly due to the fact that the overpowering smell of Parmesan coming from the local factory smells like something else.
Mrs Josie Leftleg is said to be helping Police with their enquiries due to a lack of switchboard operators at the local nick.
Things I claim to have seen
A Sea King Helicopter Manual – which was quite hard to read!
Peter Hook, out of New Order on a step-ladder inhaling Mustard gas next to a very super speedy snail.
A couple of odd racoons laughing at the rarity of choice in the third world.
A John Inman lookalike cursing the day he was born.
The latest offering from Pickwick – “Mood Music For Manic Mormons”.
A photo of Norman Wisdom’s Arm.
Some old galoshes.
A man suffering from a really bad headache because he tried to wear a Dutch Cap.
A massive Richard Briers strawberry head lamp.
Things people have told me are true
Apparently, the local hospitals are full of people who tried to imitate Michael Barrymore when he was on Gladiators.
Last week I failed my recent unsuccessful attempt to land my Hindenburg at London Piccadilly.
YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
One (not) to tell your kids at Christmas
There’s a story I heard about this bloke who used to stuff turkey-meat up his bottom.
When asked why he did this he replied, “Well I can’t stand eating the stuff, I’ve got to get rid of it somehow!”
The Dave Price Blog 