Is there one?
Apparently there will be, with selfish little toerags like this guy:
Here he is, filling his fuel tank to the brim. But why is he furtively looking around, and just what are those things on the floor next to him?
That’s THREE Jerrycans by the way. Probably one is for his sit-on lawnmower.
What a silly man.
When you come to fuel up and all the pumps are empty, it’s the fault of Daily Mail reading idiots like this.
Dear Mr Irish Accent Man,
I just dropped you off in my taxi for £10 “for cash” as you so unnecessarily put it.
Immediately after you left my vehicle to immediately urinate in your own front garden (you must really like saving your wife from having to clean your toilet, how considerate of you! What a guy!) I noticed that you seem to have left a couple of items in the taxi, so I have taken the liberty of returning them to you as I’m sure you didn’t mean to leave them.
When you next get into your BMW you will notice that a carrier bag of half-eaten, cold kebab meat, salad and garlic mayonnaise seems to have been emptied all over your windscreen.
That was the first item you left. It was rather cold outside and my fingers must have lost their grip. Sorry about that.
I was concerned that the garlic mayonnaise and the grease from the kebab meat might smear on the windscreen so I took the liberty of trying to rinse it away with the half empty contents of the can of coke you left standing upright on the floor in the taxi. That was the second item. Lucky I didn’t drive off too quickly eh? It might have fallen over and I couldn’t have returned it to you. The empty can is just on top of your car’s roof.
Don’t thank me.
All part of the service.
You horrible c**t.
Dave
I drive a taxi licensed to carry four passengers, plus myself.
A typical conversation ensues:
ME: Sorry, I’ve only got four seats.
MAN: Really?!
ME: Feel free to count them in case I’ve missed any.
MAN: But there are six of us..
ME: Well if you strangle two of them and stick their bodies in the boot, then they won’t count as passengers, but I’ll still have to charge them as baggage.
MAN: What did you just say?!
ME: Nothing 😉
In screenwriting terms, a wipe is a visual transition from one scene to another. Other examples include a cut, named from the practice of joining two pieces of film together, to a fade, where one scene gradually fades to another.
A wipe is so named because one scene is replaced by another by travelling from one side of the frame to the other, in a wiping fashion. George Lucas was quite fond of using wipes in his Star Wars films, in an homage to old science fiction serials like Flash Gordon and Buck Rogers.
Sometimes, when talking to passengers at the start of an evening, I’ll ask “Going for a large night out, then?” to which they sometimes reply, “No, just going for a couple of quiet drinks”
In my head I then imagine what I call the “Zambuca Wipe“. The scene in my taxi is replaced by a glass of Zambuca travelling across the frame to several hours later, my passenger is in full party mode, probably holding a drink in the air, cheering.
Not having a couple of quiet drinks.
Why are things never straightforward?
Kindle for BlackBerry is only fully functional in the US. No idea why, don’t really care to be honest.
But there is always a way around things.
“No you can’t buy books using the Blackberry app. What you CAN do is buy books once you have the PC app as well, and Amazon can push the book direct to your Blackberry App. I have mine set up when I buy Kindle books to do exactly this by choosing on the on the one button purchase option when viewing books.”
The Dave Price Blog 